The Count of Monty Cristo

continuing the thread

David Chalmers recently put up a constellation of zombie-related links; while the zombie simulator is, admittedly, pretty cool, be sure to check out Max Brooks' (Mel Brooks' son, not surprisingly) rather slick Zombie Survival Guide. Note that Brooks, with his insistence on their viral origin, holds to the biopathological account of zombies -- not the religious/theological account that is briefly mentioned here (under 'Explanation for Reanimation') and such as you find in films like Lucio Fulci's classic 1979 Zombie -- the film that features the legendary underwater duel between -- wait for it -- a zombie and a shark. In the burgeoning field of zombology this is a crucial distinction, not least because means of zombie disposal can diverge quite sharply depending on their type.

When I worked in the pathology lab back in high school, incidentally, we used to get amputated gangrenous legs fresh from the OR that, given their color and texture, looked like they could have fallen off a zombie.

Just thought I'd share.

zombology 101

In keeping with the zombie festival suddenly taking place over at the Times, I reckon it's about time I stepped up the zombie presence round these parts as well. So. Here is what I'd like for Christmas, followed by its (unnervingly) many sequels. And please don't forget the all-important Bag o' Zombies (which makes a great desktop wallpaper if, like me, you can't actually afford this stuff).

Should you find yourself in need of some brains, there's always Brains4Zombies.com, which serves all your neurologic needs.  (Note especially their fine selection of brains, brains, and other brains.) I've also added a blog written by a zombie to the blogroll; study his movements carefully and you'll know what to do when the time comes. By which I mean not pulling a Rod Stouffer and standing stock still.

You'd think they'd learn.

one might even call it 'morbidly fascinating'

In compensation for the relatively sporadic posting of late -- which will continue così until our term ends next week -- I offer you a double feature so packed with thrills, spills, and bone-chilling excitement that though you may have paid for a whole seat, you're only going to need the edge! Ladies and gentlemen, may I present: terrorist zombies and necrophiliac ducks.

The first story belongs in the special folder marked "Most ridiculous interpretation of terrorism ever" -- honestly, this takes the fallout of the past four years of 'homeland' 'security' to an entirely new level. (Can we say no ironic distance? Say it with me now, children..) The second story, however, which Sam told me about this morning over coffee, belongs in the folder marked Just Plain Weird.

Normally I boycott words like 'weird,' but boy, does this one take the cake.